As a single woman in her 50’s I’m always around other single people. I have single friends who are as much as 20 years older than me as well as 20 years younger than me. Everyone seems to be running around in circles. My friends are nice people with genuine intentions of being in a healthy, loving relationship. But sadly, there are people who I have come across who have an agenda. For them, dating isn’t about finding love and sharing their lives with someone special. It has become a game. Who can benefit most from the person they’re dating.

There are so many people who date for financial gain, sexual pleasure, or merely an ego boost. But what are you really gaining? You get the temporary satisfaction of using another human to fulfill your current need and then what? You manipulate a kind, generous, and thoughtful person to buy you clothes, golf clubs, watches, purses, and you let them take you on vacations you cannot afford. Do you feel good about yourself? Do you feel accomplished? Do you milk the situation until the person becomes aware of your real agenda. Then, you conveniently disappear to avoid any accountability and move on to your next victim? Is that really something to be proud of? When you look in the mirror every night while brushing your teeth are you impressed with yourself or disgusted by your behavior?

Do people who behave this way think they’re going to continue the behavior until they meet “the one”? Do they believe that miraculously, when they meet “the one” they’re going to have this amazing relationship? Do they believe that they’re going to wake up one day and know how to be a healthy, loving partner? Absolutely not! Being in a healthy relationship takes practice and work. I also personally believe in karma. I believe when you go around treating people like they’re disposable or replaceable you’re going to get what’s coming to you. You will have the experience you deserve. One day you will meet someone who you know is “the one” and that person will be the best thing that ever happened to you. They will be loving, caring, thoughtful, successful, fun, attractive, and perfect for you. Because you’re so caught up in your toxic ways, you’re not going to know what to do with them and inevitably you’re going to fumble them. You will be eyeball deep in your own self sabotage. You will be too afraid, too guarded, too emotionally immature, too mistrusting. You won’t be emotionally available and vulnerable.  And when you inevitably fumble, it will be worse than a Falcon’s Super Bowl loss to the Patriots. You will be gutted.

I suggest if you are one of the people running around loose and fancy free being reckless with other people’s hearts reflect on your actions and start living the life you want. Start becoming the person you want to be in the relationships you want to have. Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve. If you get hurt, at least you know you gave it your best. If the relationship doesn’t go the way you wanted, at least you know there was nothing you could do differently.

I’m 50 years old and have been single most of my life. I have had the privilege of falling in love with some amazing people. I have always entered every single date and relationship with the best intentions of forming a loving, caring, respectful relationship with someone I can share my amazing life with. I have never taken advantage of anyone. I have never dated anyone for anything other than with the intention of having a loving relationship. I have always been kind, loving, thoughtful, caring and extremely generous. I have always given too much of myself. I have always sacrificed myself for others. I have always been ferociously loyal. I have always led with an open heart and loved fiercely without reservations. Have I been hurt? Have people taken advantage of me? Absolutely. But I have the privilege of walking away with my head held high knowing I did everything to help the relationship progress into something amazing. I get to walk away with zero regrets that I could have been a better person. I don’t live with the humiliation of ruining a relationship because I chose to live within my comfort levels because I could not be brave. I get to look in the mirror and be proud of myself for choosing the courage to love with conviction. I hope I can inspire you to do the same. Treat everyone with the respect, kindness and love you want in return. I promise you’ll be a better, happier, healthier person.

If you’ve left a trail of bad karma, reach out and make things right.